Yummo

I say SI

If you had told me a few weeks ago that my new favorite restaurant would be a Mexican place in the middle of a strip mall, I would have said “NO WAY, Jose!!” But much to my surprise that is exactly the case now that I have discovered Monterrey Authentic Mexican Cuisine.

When you enter the establishment, your senses are immediately overwhelmed by the decor. Neon beer signs seem to send out friendly winks from behind the bar. Brightly colored paintings of cacti, donkeys, and chili peppers adorn the walls, which are painted a festive shade of brown. Not only are there rows of booths down each side of the restaurant, but tables are lined up in the middle and you can easily see how crowded it would get in there if it were full of people.

We were immediately served some cold water and a basket of chips with a tasty red sauce (similar to salsa). The menu was so detailed and full of exotic treats from south of the border that I could hardly believe what I was reading. There were so many different kinds of quesadilla that I lost count–never again will I make the mistake of saying a quesadilla is just a rip-off of the grilled cheese sandwich. Have you ever gone to a restaurant and seen a grilled cheese with cactus in it on the menu??! I think not!

I decided to try the el combo, which was a chalupa, enchilada, burrito, taco, chile relleno, and rice and beans. It was almost enough food for two people! The rice and beans were just warm enough–I was in no danger of burning my tongue, which is very important to me. The rice was fun to eat because it contained small pieces of vegetables. Finding the bits of green bean, carrot, and corn reminded me of an Easter egg hunts I used to go on when I was a kid, with the exception that the vegetables tasted a LOT better than the candy that my mom would hide in our Easter eggs.

I will definitely be back to Monterrey the next time I’m craving some awesome Mexican food that costs about the same as Taco Bell and tastes almost as good.

There’s a society? Huh.

Big Dick Society 2010 Calendars, Phenomenon Factory / FotoFactory (Calendar)

Price: $15.95

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

Meh, March 26, 2010
By Bored Girl (Charleston, SC)

I’ve seen bigger.

Someone alert FEMA

Stayfree Super Maxi Pads 66-pk.

Price: $7.99

SUPER, March 26, 2010

By	Bored Girl (Charleston, SC) – See all my reviews

This review is from: Stayfree Super Maxi Pads 66-pk. (Health and Beauty)

I always use tampons during my lady time, but I have to say that these are the best pads ever!! I live on the banks of the Pee Dee River, and a couple of months ago when my back yard flooded I knew just what to do. I unwrapped 4 of these bad boys and laid them across my back doorway and BOOM! All that water just disappeared.

People, follow my example–cancel your flood insurance and stock up on pads. You will NOT regret it.

Water pimp

Historic Deed – Own An Acre of the Pacific Ocean

Price: $17.97

Easy money, if you know what you’re doing, March 19, 2010

By	Bored Girl (Charleston, SC) – See all my reviews

People told me I was a sucker for buying an ocean deed, but I’ll tell you who the sucker is–it’s anyone who doesn’t realize that the ocean is a veritable money tree as long as you know how to exploit it.

I bought 50 acres of the Pacific Ocean a couple of years ago. I was fortunate enough to be able to purchase adjacent properties, which is becoming more and more difficult as people invest. Most anyone has fantasies about putting together a team of mermaids to build a fortune with, but I am here to tell you that is dang near impossible unless you know what you’re doing.

First off–have you ever met a mermaid? I’m not talking the fun ones that hang out near tropical islands and show their racks to cruise ship passengers. No–I’m talking about hardcore, dirty sea trash. The mermaids of the Pacific live deep underwater and rarely see the light of day. They have thick, cheesy skin and rashy bald heads. They’re most easily found near the Great Pacific Garbage Patch because their favorite food is plastic. (Chicken bones soaked in motor oil are a distant second.)

These critters don’t seem to know or care what species they are and will breed with anything. I always carried a cattle prod when I donned my scuba gear and went underwater, just to keep them off of me. I’d rather be covered in leeches than those unholy pseudofish.

One easy way to attract a shoal of mermaids is to attach a department store mannequin (no matter if it’s male or female; they couldn’t care less) to a chain and drag it through the water. The mermaids will follow after it as though hypnotized, and are then easily corralled into an underwater pen. Alternatively you could bait a trap with large chunks of styrofoam, which are highly valued by these skanks of the sea.

The next step is training them to work for you. Mermaids are sulky, sly, and naturally lazy. They often feign sickness or death to avoid even the most mundane chores. Fortunately they are easily kept in line if you know how to use their superstitions and fear of electricity against them. Every mermaid keeps some sort of “lucky” totem on her person, be it a shark’s tooth, empty Doritos bag, part of an old computer keyboard, or some similar piece of junk. Scraps of human clothing seem to be especially prized. Simply find out what each mermaid’s lucky charm is and confiscate it when she misbehaves, and she will be easily manipulated. On the rare occasions when that doesn’t seem to work, a few shocks with a stun gun will bend her to your will.

Mermaids are useful for many tasks once they’ve been broken, but pearl harvesting is perhaps their greatest and most lucrative skill. They are able to easily pry an oyster shell open with their teeth and can be trained to locate and collect pearls. That’s the work I tasked my group with, once I’d learned how to manage them.

Training my shoal was a big investment of my time, for sure, but it has paid off in a big way. I recommend mermaid wrangling to anyone with a strong stomach and a thirst for cash. For better or worse, buying these deeds will transform your life–and there’s not much on Amazon that you can honestly say that about.

Eyes on the prize

Abraham Lincoln 18″ x 24″

Price: $145

Customer Review:

5 out of 5

Inspiring,

March 19, 2010

By boredgirl

Pros: inspirational

Cons: creepy eyeballs

I heart this painting! It is very large, which is good because I bought it to cover a hole that I punched in the wall when I was mad.

Looking at Honest Ab every day makes me feel like I should try to be a better person, after all look at all he accomplished in his life from teaching himself to read to becoming a Senator, etc.

One thing I don’t like about the painting is that the eyes are crazy and their bugged out stare seems to follow me around the room–awkward! There are some things you don’t want a painting of a famous dead man to see you doing, ha ha ha! Also I don’t know why the artist did not paint him with a beard??

Still it pretty much looks like Honest Ab. Most of my friends figured out who it was with three guesses or less.

Awwww, cute little bugs!

Bugs Needlepoint Canvas

1 new from $34.95

Too real, March 17, 2010

I like these bugs, they were fun to sew. They look just like the bugs that are always crawling on my arms.

I don’t know how to get them off of me. 😦

Sewn with love

For Grandma Needlepoint Canvas

Other Pepita Needlepoint products

Available from these sellers.

1 new from $36.00

True to life, March 17, 2010

By	Bored Girl (Charleston, SC) – See all my reviews

This is such an adorable pattern! It was easy to follow, and I enjoyed working on it. I hung it on the wall in my bedroom so I can see it first thing when I get up.

My grandson drew a very similar picture a few months ago. I found it quite charming until he gifted it to my husband. He wrote “I LOVE YOU, GRANDPA” across the top and on the back he wrote “Stinky Ugly Grandma.”

Less charming. This is what comes of allowing one’s child to do as he pleases. He regularly eats popsicles for dinner and doesn’t know how to tie his shoes because my daughter lets him wear flip-flops to school. Likely he will grow up to be one of those wastrels who spend their days lurking at neighborhood cafes so they can work on what can surely be considered the least engrossing novel of our times.

I have every intention of outliving my husband, so there will come a day when my grandson realizes he did a poor job of forming alliances within the family. When that happens, I will give him this needlepoint. On the back I’ve written “You’re dead to me.”

Saving money is easy and fun!

Feline Evolution CatSeat Cat Toilet Training Seat, White

Other Feline Evolution products
List Price: $99.99
Price: $83.99 & this item ships for FREE with Super Saver Shipping.

Not fun; hurts a little,

March 16, 2010

By Bored Girl (Charleston, SC)

I know that most of the people who’ve put reviews up about this project forced it on their cats, but I came at it from a different perspective: why not train MYSELF to use a CAT BOX??As you may have heard, the economy is not doing too awesome right now. My water bill was through the roof ($800-900/month) so cutting that out of my bugget was my numero uno goal.

At first I just bought myself a litterbox, but squatting over it was not very comfy and it seemed smaller than I would have preferred. When I saw this kit online I knew it was the answer I had been looking for. I couldn’t wait to take it out of the box and set it up. It was easy to assemble, although the directions were confusing. I found it was easier after I went through them and crossed out every place it said “cat” and changed that to “you.” My own cats seemed pretty curious about the seat, but I shooed them away. They can continue to go outside and use nature’s litterbox, this seat is all mine!

I cut a circle in a piece of plywood and laid that over the top of an old tupperware box, the kind of thing you might use to store sweaters in, and put the seat on top. It was fairly comfortable, although not as good as a regular toilet. Who would have guessed that using the toilet was such a luxury? Not me, that’s for sure. You can use a variety of things inside the box–kitty litter is good, or dirt. If you want to follow my example, I reccomend that you find whatever works best for you personally.

I came up with some drills to help me get used to using the new box. For the first few weeks I would drink a lot of water before bed, and set the alarm to go off in the middle of the night. Then I would race out of bed and to the box to do my business. If I ran to the bathroom by mistake I would find an unpleasant surprise (tacks glued to the lid to poke my fingers if I tried to raise it).

After only 12 weeks of repeated practice and nightly drills, I consider myself fully “trained” on this system. Best of all, my water bill last month was only $653!!

Bears are pretty cool

Black Bear Bottle Opener Rustic Brown Cast Iron Wall Mount

Available from these sellers.

1 new from $14.99

brings people together,

March 16, 2010

By	Bored Girl (Charleston, SC) – See all my reviews

my buddies and i go for a hunting retreat every year in the rockies. we have been doing this for the past 3 years which is longer than my first marriage lasted so that should tell you something.

i bought a few dozen of these to give to my buddies on the trip. we all had a good laugh at them and enjoyed opening bottles with the bear’s mouth. i can easily imagine all of my friends installing this on the wall of their kitchen or man cave and being able to open up a cold one with the greatest of ease.

i had some extra (about 7) and gave one to my cousin craig. he doesn’t like hunting but i have seen him drink beer a time or two so i figured he would use it. well when he looked at it he giggled and i had a good laugh to–this thing looks pretty silly when you see it in your hand. he said he knew all along that i was a bear and I said yeah, i’ve known for a while now that bear is my power animal. like the bear i am large, slow to anger and fond of berries.

i like that this humble little beer opener was something that brought me closer to my regular friends, and also broke the ice between me and my cousin who i have not really seen to much of since he went off to college. now that he’s back in town i think we will hang out sometimes. he said he wants to take me out on the town to get drunk and find us some cubs–don’t think that sounds to fun but i am always up for an adventure even if its just a trip to the zoo with my cousin craig.

Fashion is easy

Born Right Handed

Price:

$16.95 – $28.95

Customer Review:

5 out of 5

Serviceable.

March 15, 2010

By boredgirl

“I bought the sweatshirt in a Large. It fits me well. It is pleasantly loose throughout the torso, yet snug at the wrists and collar. When I wear it, it is easy to imagine that my wrists are wrapped in Ace bandages.

The style of this garment is classic: I can foresee myself wearing it for decades. I like the clever slogan, which has been screenprinted across the front of the sweatshirt in a simple yet appealing font.

The color is brighter than it appears online–I was expecting something in bone or eggshell, not this “virgin bride” white. It easily shows stains, which I like because it clearly indicates to me when I should launder my clothing. I have had trouble gauging this in the past, with darker ensembles.

I am not left handed, but that does not detract from my enjoyment of this costume.